Thoughts

Theatre is magic whereas film is real...

No wait, film is transportation?

Film is release?

I'm still working on this.

In response to my crush on my 18 year old I've decided to take up photography again.  Well I'm going to try.  I become more rigid and stale as I get older and I'm not sure I can be bothered learning a new skill when I have plenty that I need to keep developing (ie. writing, acting etc).  But looking back through old photos made me realise how I miss looking at the world with wonder and amazement...I just wish I knew how to do all the technical stuff without having to learn it properly.  Also not sure yes if this is a spur of the moment thing and I was only ever attracted to said 18 year old because he had quality that I recognised in myself but missed...or if I actually thought he was hot.  Or if anyone has a moment with me and then becomes inspired.  Well I think that actually has happened, except this other guy was a bit strange and obsessed.  Er.  

Which brings me to my next point, are crushes ever real or are they just manifestations of the desires in yourself which you lack...can something romantic ever develop out of them?  I know I had a big crush on a friend when I first met him but then I resolved the issue with myself and now he's a mate...never would go there nuh-uh.  On the other hand this guy who was obsessed with me was completely loony cos I knew he was secretly interested in the acting bit...which he didn't realise himself although I told him repeatedly...and I was a bit young and confused and didn't know how to handle the attention...in any case, I had to tell him to stop calling me...so crushes can be completely loony as well.  Well maybe if I were older and could handle it a bit better I could have been friends with him...(doubt it though he was mad).  So yeah.  Can crushes be a sign of actual romantic potential?

Such brilliant things to be debating on Boxing Day...