Addendum

How quick is the media these days?  But good to know everything's okay.  Yay for speedy medical response units (and whoops, the boy is 10, not 5).

http://www.theage.com.au/national/boy-freed-after-tram-collision-20090525-bkpe.html

Tram accident

I was on the tram home reading a book.  Without a hint of what was coming, a car slammed into the window I was sitting next to.  The car, just like in the movies, crumpled like a big blue accordian.  For a few minutes we all clambered round the tram window as if we were looking at zoo exhibit.  Then after some confusion, the tram doors opened and we all climbed out like spiders.  Rounding the corner to look at the crash, I realised that the force of the collision was so great that the tram had been derailed. The car, too, was suffering a great deal of damage.  Somehow the car managed to get between the tram and a pole, and was wrapped around the pole like a piece of chewing gum. A man was screaming 'That's my son in there!' and other people were on their phones calling the ambulance.  I tried to see what was going on but it was raining and there were a lot of people so I stood back and tried not to get run over by traffic.  After some aimless standing, I decided to walk home.  As I left I realised that the man's five year old son had his legs stuck in the passenger seat.

I spent the evening being cooked for by a classmate.  I'm fine, although still a little shocked.  I think I may revisit this event a little bit later.

School

...is great and am completely ensconced in it at the moment.  Working with our director yesterday was so fantastic because he just makes everything so clear. That's why it's such a shame that there's all this extraneous stuff happening in the background at the moment:

1. Our college has been under a university for some time, but it's only recently that big changes are starting to be made.  In 2011, our course is changing significantly, and we're all a bit worried about how that is going to affect future generations.  Other schools have had staff cuts and course suspensions, and it's all become a little bit crazy.  We are currently in talks with our head of school and the other disciplines are also trying to work things out with their teachers.  Most of us at the drama school are focussed on working out how to preserve the spirit and content of the school with the university, while most of the rest of the college are not really sure what's going on.

Read our plight here, but keep in mind that while this website is advocating for federal support, not university co-operation.

2.  One of our classmates is leaving at the end of the term.  This is very sad, as I think he's very talented and would do really well in the course.  Selfishly, I also think he'd make our company amazing.  He's also very, very young and is probably making a very rash decision, not even six months into the course.  However, at the end of the day he doesn't mesh with the methods of the school and he wants to make his own theatre.  Everyone has their path and drama school is clearly not my classmate's. I know how he feels to know something is wrong and that you just have to follow your gut no matter what anyone says. But it's funny to think that a year ago people were probably feeling the same way about me!  And it's funny to be in that position where I feel like I'm in the right place and that it's a shame that other people don't feel the same as me...but one day my classmate will find it!

3.  Been feeling weird not writing in blog for a while because I felt like I was polluting cyberspace with my words.  The thing is, although I haven't written as much, I've been talking a lot more.  Now instead of feeling like I'm polluting cyberspace with my neuroticism, I'm polluting the air.  Both take up a lot of time and both are a release for me, although with blogging I always feel like if I'm writing I should be writing fiction.  So I'm still working on this whole creativity/life balance and I'm not really making that much progress.  But clarity will come soon, I'm sure of it!

Back to being baggy and verbose!

Productivity

I am not productive enough.

Crush

Today I accidentally stumbled upon the Facebook page of an old crush.

I clicked on it, because I could.  And immediately I regretted it.

Before you could stalk people 24/7 online, you could have a magical encounter with a person and have it stored forever in the shelf of your mind.

Now, you can look through photos of his first legal drink.  Overexposed shots of Tasmanian sky. His new haircut.  Self portraits in the mirror eclipsed by explosions of light (that is, the flash).  The beer bottles he's kissed.  His girlfriend.

I am never adding any crushes to Facebook.

Being 25 and a couple of films

Last night I finally caved and watched Twilight.

Robert Pattinson is hot.

I am 25 and in lust with a 19 year old actor who plays a vampire.

Yes, that's right.  Two days ago I turned 25.  You heard me.  A quarter of a century.  Half-way to fifty.  It's the age where first loves have come and gone at least a couple of times.  It's the age where private health care deems you financially secure enough to handle your own health care.  It's the age where a young person's personality and characteristics finally settle into adult permanence.  The age where your body starts to store fat instead of easily releasing it.  The age where travel to wild, exotic places has done at least a couple of times.  This is the age where most young people start thinking about falling in love, getting married, getting a mortgage, and carving out some sort of career for themselves.  It is the age that is the most vital in determining greatness.  By 23, T.S. Eliot had already composed his greatest poem, The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock.  At 24, Cate Blanchett had already performed for the Sydney Theatre Company and graduated from NIDA.  Eileen Chang wrote her most infamous short stories by 24.  In contrast, I feel like I'm a half-completed project; I've got the base for the pie but I have to go back to the supermarket to buy the filling.

It's all completed unfounded, of course.  At any critical turning point a feeling of unsettledness is inevitable.  At this age I am much more calm in the way I go about things.  I am less likely to act on impulse (except on stage of course) and I think most actions through.  I know what I want now and am less likely to compromise in order to get it.  My focus is better and I can, both practically and mentally, concentrate on one activity/path for a reasonable amount of time. I can witness my own unsettledness and neuroticism and understand that it's merely a moment and that it will pass.

Being 25 is knowing that I'm on my way.

The night before last, on my birthday, I watched La Vie En Rose.  Marion Cotillard's performance as Edith Piaf, and the film itself, were inspirational.  It made me wonder whether I would ever be capable of pulling off a performance like that.  It's a massive commitment to be that dedicated to one's art.  It's scary to think about one day actually reaching the epitome of one's art, but also incredibly exciting.  At the moment however, I think getting through our Greek tragedy in class is more than enough!