I have my dinner packed for tomorrow, my clothes ready, and my alarm set. I have my three textbooks for class next to my bed. I have my report for questioning the teachers in my handbag. I am readier than I've been for anything in a long time.
I don't quite feel the same somehow.
This is perhaps a good thing. It's been half a year now, more than enough time to get excited about my classmates and friends and exciting new people. I've drunk more in six months than I've drunk in a life time, and eaten so much chocolate my poop is probably made out of it and it alone. I've gone to Sydney, had a freak out, and come back. I've lost weight only to regain it all again. I'm starting to get used to the weird people living here and tonight cooked my first near-perfect dish after six months of disastrous experiments. I've settled into a routine. It's time to work.
I'm not sure how I feel about going back tomorrow. I'm excited to work but being away and spending time with really good friends has made me realise that there are many things that I value. And that good friends (my age!) and having a strong direction in life are really important to me. Although I love my classmates dearly, I feel like I've really got to focus this second half of the year. There are many things I want to achieve this term, and writing, volunteering and excelling in my classwork are only a few of them. Looking back I realised I spent much time socialising and having fun a lot, all of which are valuable things but I think need to be kept in check from now on.
Which means I have my bags packed and my lunch ready and it's time to go to bed!
